Bob's Blog

I recently asked my cousin to refrain herself from sending me x-rated email jokes.  She is 70 yrs old, and claims she can send whatever she wants, and I can pick and choose the ones I want to read.  So much for diplomacy.  I love her dearly, and she is a lot of fun to be around, so I just delete the really bad ones and when she asked if I read them, I tell her the truth.  She thinks I'm a real stick in the mud.  She truly is a lovely lady, and seeing how she used to babysit me as a kid, I have learned to deal with her boistrousness and just love her for who she is.  

That said, I received this one from her the other day, and I just had to pass it on.  This is really a cute one, and can be told to pretty much anyone.  Sort of... kind of... well, maybe not to kids under 10.  But, then I may be thinking wrong on that one too.  LOL.  
Enjoy!

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

JUST TOO CUTE.

This is the cleanest E-mail joke

I've come across in a long while!




A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?"

She asked.

"Hunting Flies"

He responded.

"Oh.  Killing any?"

She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.




Intrigued, she asked.

"How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,

"3 were on a beer can,

2 were on the phone.

I was cleaning out some of my old mail from my msn mail account.  This particular email I received a couple years ago, and it made me laugh.  Sometimes, no matter how much cleaning you do to your mouse, it just needs a good calibration.  I thought I would try it out here in the Rain and see if it still works.  Try your luck with it and if it doesn't work for you, please let me know.

 I was shocked to see that this works!

To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below.  Then drag the Y toward the g   

 If it doesn't work, you might want to clean your mouse

Y ou dumb ass. You'll believe anything

Have a wonderful day in the RAIN!

 

Well, here I go with another one of my famous emails.  I got this one the other day, and I couldn't help but think of my ex wife and all the fond memories we had together.

Now that we've been divorced for a number of years, we have become friends again and actually enjoy chatting from time to time.  When you have kids and grandchildren together, you have no choice sometimes and have to be in each others company.  Best that you can be friends.  

With that said, I received this email about women, and I couldn't believe how true it is. 

Quote for the day:  

'Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.' 

So - if you give her crap,

you will receive more shit than any one human being can handle !!!

 

For those who think that last line is a joke.  Try it someday.  

One of the most beautiful and intriguing flowers IMO is the Angel's Trumpet.
I took these photos at a botanical garden we visited while in Tenerife, Canary Islands.
These flowers were huge and I couldn't resist  getting these shots.  




The following shot I had to take several shots to get a fairly clear shot from beneath.

I'm stunned and a little disgusted too.  I received a call from my sellers to say they went to check on their condo and found that someone had used the bathroom (number 2 - we all know what that is right?)in their "vacant condo" and didn't flush.   I was so embarrassed.  I normally don't allow toilets to be used when I'm showing a house or condo.  Needless to say, they were not pleased.

Now I have to call the last agent who showed the house - Do I ask him if he or his buyers used the bathroom?  Exactly how do you approach this subject?  Then I guess I have to suggest to him that he check behind them to make sure they flush the toilet.  How sad is that?

Fortunately, my sellers are not angry with me and understand I don't have too much control over what other agents allow.  I guess I need to add potty checks to the list of things to check for in vacant homes.  

I'm thinking I might put signs on all toilets - "FLUSH!!! OR DON'T USE THE BATHROOM!!!!

Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated. 

I received this from a friend and I was just amazed. I had never seen a submarine race before and I was excited to see how it was done.   It was a 4 lap race.



As always, I added a few of my own touches to make the race more enjoyable.  I do hope your sub won.

I received this from a friend who was divorced several years ago.  I honestly thought it was a serious story.
Being divorced myself, i wondered if i could somehow relate it to my ex-wife.
I sure hope she's not reading this.  LOL.


Flying lessons:


My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started
and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

She narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting
when she was forced to make an emergency landing in
Southern Tennessee because of bad weather.
Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.

The absence of a post-crash fire
was likely due to insufficient fuel on board.
No one on the ground was injured.   

Photographs below, were taken at the scene,
show the extent of damage to her aircraft.
She was very lucky.






 

 

 

I don't care who you are, that's funny right there!!!!!